food.

Turkey! I love using turkey cutlets whenever I can. This is a simple recipe, but a delicious and impressive one. I doubt people would guess it's turkey. Coat the cutlets first in egg wash then in breadcrumbs and brown (slowly over medium heat, otherwise you'll ruin them!) in olive oil. Remove from the pan, and add diced tomatoes and their juice, zucchini, onion, and enough chicken stock to make it loose. Add the turkey back into the sauce, and top each piece with a slice of prosciutto and some thick shavings of parmigiano reggiano. Finish the whole thing in the oven to melt the cheese and crisp the prosciutto. This is best done in a big cast iron skillet, which can go from stove top to oven easily.

Not turkey. Thick (they look like little meat icebergs, don't they?) filet mignon with mushroom cream sauce.

Just brush the steaks with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Ricky and I both like ours rare so I cooked these for 5 minutes per side. Don't move them if you want pretty grill marks. I did these in a grill pan but outside would be lovely, it was cruddy out this day though. Once done, let them rest for 10 minutes.

To make the sauce, saute a chopped shallot, some fresh thyme, and 8-10 oz of mixed mushrooms in olive oil over medium heat. I used shiitake, cremini, and button, but whatever you can find is fine. I wouldn't use portobellos, though.

Once those are nice and sweated, add 1/2 cup-ish of brandy to the pan. It might catch on fire, don't be alarmed. Do not, however, pour straight from the bottle. That's just stupid.

If you want it to catch on fire and it doesn't, you can do what I did and ignite it with a long fireplace match.

Brandy flames are lovely.

Next pour in 1/4 cup of cream and 1/4 cup of chicken broth. Let that simmer and reduce a bit.

Spoon some sauce onto each plate and set the filet mignon on top. Garnish with something green, like parsley (like me) or chives.

Ooooh or tarragon.

Soup. Because soup is easy.

What is easier than putting on a pot of soup for dinner and serving it with crusty bread?

Nothing. The correct answer is nothing.

Except maybe ordering takeout but come on.

Chicken sausage, cannellini bean, and escarole soup.Super easy, super delicious, and it tastes like it took you more than 25 minutes.-but it didn't.1 package Italian-style chicken sausage. You could use the kind that you slice and cook or the kind that gets crumbly out of the casing. Whatever.1 head escarole (it's next to the lettuce and kale and collards and whathaveyou.) Chopped.1 15 oz can cannellini beans or other small white beans. Drained, of course.4 cups chicken broth (1 package is about 4 cups)2 cloves of garlic, minced. Do not use a press. In fact, throw your garlic press away.Those things are stupee.2 tbps olive oil, plus more for drizzling.salt and peppercrush red pepper flakes, because spicy soup is awesome soup.-Slice (or remove from casings and crumble) the chicken sausage. Heat olive oil on medium heat in a large stock pot with a lid. Add sausage and cook until browned. Add garlic, cook for 1 minute more until fragrant, then add the beans and the escarole. Cook until the escarole is wilted down. Add some salt, pepper, and red pepper to taste. Pour the chicken broth over, cover, and simmer for 10-15 minutes.Serve with some extra virgin olive oil drizzled over the top and some warm, crusty bread.Yay!

living with Lupus

It's been almost a year since my "formal" Lupus diagnoses. If you don't know about Lupus, please learn more here. The diagnoses was almost a sort of relief...I finally knew what was going on with me, what had been going on with me for so long. I still don't completely understand everything about this disease, and I'm still not super confident with how I'm living with it. Granted, being a nursing mother keeps me from taking many of the traditional pharmaceutical remedies for my symptoms. I eat healthy, drink plenty of water, make sure I'm active (I work out just about every day in some form or another), all the basic stuff. I take Aleve when I can (not while breastfeeding or during pregnancy, though), and I've started looking into fish oil/glucosamine/chondroitin.

I've had a few pretty bad flares, but the worst by far has been this one. I've been reading about it, and apparently it's common for women with Lupus to have a really bad flare after giving birth. Maybe it has something to do with the hormone shift? I don't know.

It's terrible. And frustrating.
I feel like I have the joints of a 90 year old woman. I can't make it through a workout DVD without nearly crying because my knees hurt so badly. My ankles are sore, inflamed, and swollen beyond recognition. My knees hurt just walking around. My wrists feel like they need to have braces on them. Some mornings my wrists are so sore that I have to wait a bit before I can pick up my son out of his cradle. Those are some of the worst times.

The fatigue is probably the next worst thing. No matter how much sleep I get, I'm still groggy and exhausted. Groggy and exhausted aren't exactly helpful with a newborn. He's awesome during the night. He wakes up a few times to be fed and changed, then goes right back to sleep. If it weren't for this ridiculous disease I'd feel awesome. It doesn't matter if I get 2 hours or 9 hours, I still feel awful. It's so frustrating. I'm getting worked up just writing about it. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I can maintain this. I wanted so badly, when they first told me that I have Lupus, to go on with my life as usual.

"Lupus isn't going to affect my life."

I wanted to be one of those people that laughs in the face of a chronic disease. To maintain my social life, work schedule, exercise schedule, and home life. 

Now a year later, I honestly just feel like I'm fighting life, not living it.
Something's gotta give, ya know?

This flare has lasted more than 2 weeks now and it's showing no signs of letting up. I have to cover up with makeup to hide the weird blotchy-ness on my face. I'm just thankful that my hair isn't falling out again.

I don't know how to make this make sense to people, even my husband.

"But you don't look sick" is officially my least favorite thing to hear. It's so hard to make someone understand what it's like to feel like your body is working against you. I feel like a prisoner in this sometimes. Like I'm not the one calling the shots, the Lupus is.
I've been working out every day for the past week or so. The last few pounds of pregnancy weight are being a total pain in the ass, perhaps thanks to the sluggish thyroid that accompanies Lupus. It's helping the depression that comes with my flares quite a bit, but it's hurting my body. I feel so conflicted... I want to keep at it because it helps my mind, and I need to work out after having Liam, but I can barely get out of bed the next morning. I can run for 30 minutes, which makes me knees feel like they're on fire, or I can walk fast for 75 minutes. I'd much rather be on the treadmill for 30 minutes, but I can't maintain this every day if I'm running. Seriously, I wake up the next morning and it feels like Kathy Bates hit me in the legs with a baseball bat. Misery indeed.

(See what I did there?)
I'm thankful for the good parts of my health, I know that I could have it much worse. I just need to stay positive and find a lifestyle and a balance that works for me.

I'm off to do a much longer cardio session than I'd like to.
Enough whining.  

Summa' Time

Whenever I see rhubarb in the grocery store (the store today was Ever'Man Natural Food Co-op in Pensacola, love that place) I can't help but think "aaaah it's summertime!"

I remember my grandmother growing rhubarb in her back yard.

Or was it horseradish?

Whatever. She grew stuff and it was nice and rhubarb makes me think about that.

Except now I'm thinking about what a horseradish pie would taste like and I'm pretty sure it would taste like death and fire. 

 Maybe?

Moving on.

So like I said, I was at the store and saw organic rhubarb. I got excited.

I looked to my left and saw organic strawberries.

I got a little more excited.

Liam looked confused at all the "gasp!" and "eegads" sounds that I was making.

He'll appreciate these things when he's older.

So I bought the rhubarb and the strawberries but I was too lazy to make a pie crust (shut up) so I made a crisp instead. A crumble? I think they might be the same thing.

Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp/Crumble

Crisple.

2 pints fresh strawberries, cut in half they're bigguns', hulled

5-6 stalks fresh rhubarb, cut into 1 inch pieces

1/2 cup fresh orange juice + the zest

tablespoon cornstarch

teaspoon vanilla extract

tablespoon lavender buds (I almost wrote "lavender bugs")

3/4 cup + 1/2 cup white sugar

teaspoon salt

1 cup spelt flour

1 cup quick cooking rolled oats (not instant)

1/2 cup light brown sugar

12 tablespoons (Whoa Nelly!) cold butter, cut into little pieces

pinch of cardamom, if you dig that sort of thing.

Preheat your oven to 350

Toss the strawberries, rhubarb, orange zest, lavender, and 3/4 cup of sugar together in a large bowl. 

Mix the cornstarch with the orange juice and vanilla until dissolved. Pour over the fruit and toss to combine.

Let it hang out for a sec while you make the topping so it's nice and macerated.

If you're unsure of it, you may also use this time to look up "macerated."

Mix the 1/2 cup sugar, salt, spelt flour, brown sugar, cardamom if you're sassy, and oats together in a bowl.

Scatter the butter over the top, then get in there with your hands and work it all together to form a crumbly topping. You could do this in a mixer but it's just as quick to do it this way, plus you don't have to dirty your mixer bowl or an attachment. I'm here for you.

Pour the fruit into an 8x11 baker. Set that pan on a cookie sheet lined with foil or parchment. Trust me.

Scatter the topping over the fruit. Bake for 1 hour, all the while enjoying that heavenly smell.

Serve warm or at room temperature, with ice cream or whipped cream or whatever your little heart desires.

Except horseradish.

Chicken. And brownies. And an almond tart. Guess which one I liked better?

 The tart. Duh. It's like marzipan in tart form. With cherry jam, which can never be a bad thing.

When Liam is taking naps I'm really trying to make time for cooking and baking. That sounds weird, but I love it, and it helps me relax. I've been able to keep up with making dinners, and I'm really thankful for that. I know it's hard to believe to some people, but my favorite part of my day has always been cooking. Now my favorite part of my day is whenever I'm holding, feeding, or just staring at my new son, but I really wanted to keep food/cooking in my life. I'm so happy that I've been able to so far, granted it's only been 2 weeks.

 These are the brownies I made my for my and Liam's nurses the day we got home. I think they're adorable. They smelled fabulous! I love brownies with nuts, but if you're allergic or just don't like them, lavender brownies are just as tasty without them.

The aforementioned marzipan in tart form experience. Italian almond tart. It looks fancy and complicated, but honestly the hardest part was finding almond paste and the grocery stores around here. I was finally able to find the canned kind (way better for baking that the stuff in the tube) at a Publix in Mary Esther. The recipe is here at Ever So Sweet.

 

Chicken! I was wanting something with lots of vegetables. I cut and pounded the chicken breasts into paillards, then browned them in olive oil. Once they were pretty and golden, I removed them and kept them warm. To the same pan I added chopped tomato, garlic, white onion, an anchovy filet, and green olives. I threw in some parsley at the end when I put the chicken back in. 

Served with rice and green beans. Quick, easy, delicious, and good lookin'.

My kind of dinner.

There's an App for that.

 Ricky had some people over tonight to hang out and celebrate baby Liam. Scotch drinking (none for me!), chatting, and snacks. 

I, much to his chagrin, wanted to make some simple appetizers for his get-together. 

Easy, fast things that I could finish while Liam napped. He naps a lot. This is what I decided on. 

Rosemary almonds, Gorgonzola puff pastry bites, spiced olives, pepper crackers with cream cheese, smoked salmon, and caviar, and warm dates stuff with almonds with sea salt and lime zest.

 Almonds on the left, cheesy, salty, yummy Gorgonzola puff pastry on the right.

Both very simple. The almonds are just sautéed in butter, salt, rosemary, garlic, and Worcestershire sauce and then roasted for 10 minutes. Worsh-te-shister-shawwww.....

The Gorgonzola bites are embarrassingly simple. Roll out puff pastry, press crumbled Gorgonzola into it, sprinkle on fresh cracked pepper, cut into squares, then bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

Boom.

 Olives on the left. Just toss good-quality olives in olive oil, minced garlic, lemon zest strips, and red pepper flakes. Let them hang out at room temperature for a while for everything to get to know each other.

 Pepper water crackers topped with smoked salmon and caviar. I made more than 6, I swear.

The best thing! These dates are to die for.

Remove the pits from Medjool dates and stuff each one with a roasted almond. Sauté for 3-4 minutes in extra virgin olive oil, then  remove them (with a slotted spoon or tongs) to a bowl and toss with coarse sea salt and fresh lime zest.

Seriously. So good.

All of these things were very easy to make and took very little labor and time, less than an hour, which was nice for me.

Appetizers are a great way to entertain, so much less fuss than a full meal, and everyone can pick what they want and graze throughout the evening. It's also way easier to clean up!

best. thing. ever.

dinnah!

 Also breakfast. This is what I ate the other day. I promise there is cereal down there somewhere.

 

Pretty ridiculous. Ricky said I couldn't finish it. In your face, Ricky.

 Leek and potato soup with chives and a little bacon. Because... well, to be honest, bacon doesn't need a reason.

 Crispy mustard glazed pork belly with onions and fennel on Spätzle.

 French onion soup with cannellini beans and Gruyere toasts and salad.

You need something vegetarian after having pork belly the night before, I think.

Salmon brushed with dijon mustard and honey, served with crispy roasted potatoes and mustard greens.

smile!

It's Monday! Now go attack a zebra!

3/25

This Sunday went as the past few Sundays have.

One of these...

 

 ...on this.

Always fun, and so nice to get out early and start our day with some exercise.

Then it was the usual Sunday stop at Bishops for coffee (and this time a muffin we split).

We saw this...very interesting. I guess the feeling IS mutual? ;)

We headed to TJMaxx and did some random shopping, and once we got home I made some lovely hibiscus lemonade and I now have a Key lime pie in the oven.

Pictures  and recipe for the tasty limey deliciousness to come.

I'm working on house things while Ricky works on the floors for the rest of the day. We might take a little break and head to the beach for a bit.

Oh, and tonight is the season premier of Mad Men. 

I'll have to drink something virgin out of a martini glass.

I nearly forgot. Last night for dinner I made a yummy Greek-ish meal.

Chicken quarters marinated in lemon juice, olive oil, fresh thyme, and garlic with a roasted vegetable moussaka. The moussaka was red bell peppers, zucchini, eggplant, onions, garlic, and tomatoes all baked with greek yogurt, 2 eggs, and topped with feta and fresh parsley. Talk about a protein-packed meal.

It was amazing, by the way. I'm planning on eating the rest of those wonderful veggies for lunch tomorrow.

365 Days with D's: One year since my reduction.

One year ago today I had my breast reduction surgery. It's hard to believe, it feels like just yesterday I was bandaged, sleeping sitting up, popping percocet for the pain, and needing Ricky to help me wash my hair. How the time flies!I'm still really happy about my decision. There were some people who asked, "What if you regret it?" While I knew that wouldn't, it was hard  to get people to understand that.Some days I still get a little bothered by the scars, but that's a rare occurrence. I do, however, wish that they were smaller still. Going from a G to a D was a big change, but I really wanted to have small breasts. A D is smaller than I've been since middle school, but still large to me. Of course, now that I'm pregnant they've gotten a little bigger. I'm somewhere between a D and  DD, but the change is small and to be expected. From what I've been told they should go back to their post-surgery size afterwards. If not, I can have the surgery revised. I'm completely willing to do that.My one concern now, and a year ago actually, is breastfeeding. It was the only roadblock I ran into during my decision-making process. While we still don't know if I'll be able to, I've done a little research and from what I've read it can be possible. It's really a case by case sort of thing. Some women produce just fine, some need to supplement, and some can't produce at all. We'll have to wait and see. As much as I'd like to be able to breastfeed, I still don't regret having the surgery. If I do have to have it re-done, I'll want to go to a different doctor. The doctor that I saw had a terrible bedside manner, and never once asked me what size I'd like to be or anything like that. I understand that my procedure was more medically necessary than cosmetic, but still. That's the only part of my experience that I would have changed.

grits

Tonight I made cobia and creamy roasted poblano grits.

I'm really tired, so that's all I'm going to say about it.

It was yummy.

Sunday Morning

Ricky and I decided last weekend that we should do a 5k every Sunday that his work schedule allows. So far we're 2 for 2.

We left at around 7 am and did our 5k out on Navarre beach, walking the first part on the actual beach. It was nice to be near the water, watching all the old people sweep the sand with metal detectors or sift through for pretty shells. They crack me up.

 Pelicans!

What wasn't so nice was all of the trash left out. Beer bottles, chip bags, socks, cigarette butts, bikini tops...

I can't wait for Spring Break to be over. Why can't you come to a place and not trash it? 

Brats.

Once we finished, we headed down to my new favorite coffee place, Bishops Coffee and Tea.

Ricky had his usual skim latte and I had a vanilla latte made with almond milk.

The almond milk is one of the reasons that I love Bishops, it's the only place around here that I can get it. I think we have a new Sunday tradition.

The rest of my day will consist of hanging pictures in the nursery, washing my smelly Westies, making cobia for dinner, and probably some cupcakes. The lovely baked goods at Bishops inspired me.

Have a great Sunday everyone!

♥

5k, decorating, and Indian food.

 Ricky got up early this morning, around 6:45, and walked/jogged a 5k on the beach as the sun came up. On the way home we stopped and got coffee. Nonfat latte for him, double tall half-caf skinny mocha for me. It's nice to start your day with that "I feel awesome" feeling.

Back at the house, it was cleaning/decorating time.

I moved the large picture hanging above our bed into the living room a few days ago, so it looked lonely up there.

This is what I came up with. I'm pretty happy with it, even though I suck at taking pictures of my house.

 We also pretty much finished the nursery, it just needs baseboards, and Ricky built a stand for our washer and dryer. 

We pretty much kicked ass today.

 

 At the amazingness that is TJMaxx, I found this cook book. 

I already have "the food of france" and I love it. This was $6. I love that damn place.

 

Tonight we had Murgh Masala, and it was pretty legit.

Cumin, coriander, garam masala, and turmeric rubbed chicken thighs simmered in sauce of pureed onions, garlic, ginger, tomatoes, and yogurt. Cinnamon sticks, cloves, and cardamom pods made this pretty exciting.

Served on basmati, naturally.

 I'm off to paint another table and then hit the hay.

Happy weekend everyone!

Da Spicy Beef

I like Moroccan food. Alas, the Florida panhandle has little to offer as far as African food goes. 

Now, normally when I have skirt steak, I make fajitas. I don't mean to be so uncreative, but it just happens that way. Yesterday I pulled some skirt steak out of the freezer, knowing that I'd probably end up making fajitas.

No! Not tonight! A little voice inside my head was screaming at me.

I thought, "Why don't I ever make anything Moroccan with beef? I always use chicken."

Well, it was time to expand my protein horizons.

I marinated the skirt steak in a mixture of vegetable oil, lemon juice, coriander, paprika, cumin, turmeric, garlic, salt, pepper, cinnamon, and ginger for about an hour.

I then chopped it up and cooked it with onions and garlic, adding water and letting it reduce down a few times. Then I added green olives (I only had the pimento stuffed kind, which are pretty salty. Just soak them in water before adding them), parsley, cilantro, and preserved lemon peel.

 You can make your own very easily, or you can find them jarred. I think either way is fine. 

(Never heard of 'em? Learn here)

 After that I just simmered the whole thing until the sauce was nice and thick and served it over couscous.

It was lovely, and we were both quite pleased with it. I'll be adding this to my "simple weeknight dinners" list.

 

leftovers

 The other night I made bolognese sauce in my slow cooker. I used three of the the five Italian sausages in the package, and wrapped the other two up, hoping that i would find something to do with 2 sausages before I had to throw them out.

I did think of something!

Tonight at work, Dr. Dyson said that she was making chorizo and black beans for dinner.

I like beans. 

I have sausage, but it isn't chorizo...

I came home and knew that I wanted to do something with those Italian sausages and a can of cannellini beans. I ended up with this soup.

Sausage, cannellini beans, one zucchini, one carrot, two stalks of celery, a white onion, 3 cloves of garlic, fresh thyme, fresh bay leaf, a chopped tomato, and crushed red pepper, with a chicken stock base.

Just brown the sausage in olive oil, add the zucchini, celery, carrot, onion and garlic. Sweat those for a minute, then add the beans, herbs, crushed red pepper, and tomato. Cover with stock. Bring to a boil and let it bubble for 5 minutes. Reduce the heat and simmer for 10 more.

I sprinkled parsley and a drizzle of olive oil on top, but it would be lovely with some pecorino romano. too.

Let's hear it for soup! Hazaa!

chocolate is a good thing.

 

  I wanted to make a chocolate tart.

I ended up with a dark chocolate tart with vanilla and Jameson Irish Whiskey in a walnut crust with smoked grey salt. 

It was a lovely upgrade 

Interesting tidbit: When writing "whiskey," it's appropriate to include the 'e' for Irish whiskeys and American whiskeys. For Scotch whisky, it's just the 'y.'

Hm.

 Recipe is here at Ever So Sweet.

♥