Things that today has taught me

People are f***ing stupid. Okay, I already knew that.

If you cover popcorn with hot cajun seasoning, you will accidentally breathe some of it in. And that sucks.

My badass washing machine has a "delay wash" option. I can load the clothes, put in the detergent, bleach, and softener, and set it to start an hour before I get off work, since the Permanent Press cycle takes 55 minutes. That way I just come home and put them in the dryer. I hate it when you start laundry and then leave, and you come home and it's been sitting in there. Thank you, LG.

Running outside in Florida is not as crappy in the wintertime. I can handle this.

My puppy hates teddy bears, and will stop at nothing to eradicate them from my home

It's always a good time for Depeche Mode.

I miss my mommy.

Some people will always be catty, childish bitches. I don't know if you read this, but if you do, then YES, I'm talking about you. Grow up and be a woman.

When you ask someone, "Can you hold?" and they tell you "Yes," what they really mean is, "No, I can't. But I will, and then I'll be an asshole when you pick up again."

A lot of people in the South really hate the phrase "Happy Holidays."

Owl City makes driving a happy time.

My Name is Earl is not funny. Except for Jaime Pressly.

OH! And that Jillian Michaels knows what she's talking about, because I lost 3 more pounds this week. Woot.