One of my only and biggest gripes about being pregnant is just that: the gripes.
I understand, really, I do, that pregnancy is a different experience for every woman, and each pregnancy is different for that woman as well.
In three weeks I'm due to deliver our second child, a little girl named Imogen Elizabeth.
I haven't really shared many details of my pregnancy. I didn't share loads of details about my pregnancy with Liam, either, because to be honest, there wasn't much to share.
They both were/are pretty uneventful pregnancies. No morning sickness, no incontinence issues, no swelling, no excessive weigh gain, no weird food cravings, not too much trouble sleeping, and not really much else to report.
And if I ever said any of those things, I was immediately hit with "Shut up!" "Oh just wait, it'll get worse!" or "Oh stop humble bragging!"
Real talk: It pisses me off that I feel like I shouldn't speak up or share my pregnancy details when others are because I'm not having a terrible time. Like there's some merit badge I haven't earned because I've never puked so hard that I pooped myself, and therefor I'm not invited to the "prego mommy talks."
I appreciate that women share their stories with me, but I find it so odd that I'm made to feel like my pregnancies are abnormal because I'm not experiencing it the same way they did.
I think pregnancy is fantastic. It has been for me, every time I've been pregnant.
"Oh shut up" is to me what me saying "Haha, sucks to be you!" would be to you.
"Oh just wait! It'll get worse."
It didn't. It hasn't. And it won't.
It seems that some women only believe your experience to be legitimate if it's truly horrible. If you run the morning sickness achey back pee when you sneeze can't sleep and grow excessive body hair gauntlet.
One of my favorites is, "You're so tiny!"
Is there something wrong with me? Is my baby too small? Am I consuming enough calories?
I would never say, "WOW! You're humongous!" to anyone.
Because that's a dick thing to say. Why isn't it true the other way around?
Women who can't commiserate often feel like they're not encouraged to share, which is disheartening, to say the least.
The same goes for parenthood.
People respond in a very different way when you're having a positive experience and they aren't.
I know that it's different for everyone, and that for some it is truly very difficult. I just feel that the "motherhood community" seems lately to be geared much more to those who are struggling.
When we want to talk, too. We want to share our experiences, too.
But we aren't encouraged to as much. People tend to assume we're lying or exaggerating.
...and I thought maybe writing a blog would make me feel better, but it didn't.